Flirting
by FindingStory
Summary: "Well..." He scratched the back of his head shyly. "I... I've spotted my ex-boyfriend. Could I... Hold your hand? Until he leaves, I mean." When a handsome silver-haired stranger approaches him with the oddest request he's ever heard, Yuuri can't help but assist him. Meanwhile, Yurio is getting very sick of Victor's bullshit. Au oneshot


Yuri huffed in annoyance, his face dark and his arms crossed tightly over his chest as he followed Victor through the crowded grocery store. Victor hummed cheerfully as he pushed the cart through the aisles, dodging around shoppers as he sang his cheerful tune, his face bright with the sunlight that streamed through the high windows. Yuri scowled angrily at Victor's cheerfulness, wishing for all the world that Victor would just finish his shopping already, and drive Yuri home.

And still Victor hummed, either unaware or blatantly ignoring his young friend's anger. He emerged from the crowd and turned the corner, and Yuri heard his humming stop abruptly as he followed. A moment later, he gasped as he crashed, head-on, into Victor's back. He recoiled backwards, a yelp escaping his lips.

"What the fu—"

"Shh..." Victor put a finger to Yuri's lips to silence him, his aqua eyes wide, amazed. Yuri followed the path of his gaze, confused, and his eyes fell on a young man, running the register.

A terrifying chill went down his spine.

His hands clenching into tight, scared fists, Yuri looked to Victor, and then back at the man, and then back at Victor, and knew by the blush on his cheeks and the sparkle in his eyes that they were completely and utterly screwed.

He said a silent, mourning goodbye to his chances of getting a ride home, and began to contemplate walking instead as he stomped after Victor, who craved a closer look at the man. Yuri could practically _hear_ his brain whirring into overdrive as they got closer and closer, pointing out every detail about the man even as it picked out adjective after adjective to describe him; warm, chocolate mocha eyes, soft, raven locks, a kind smile and full cheeks, his voice beautiful as he made small talk with the old lady whose jell-o he was bagging.

Yuri sighed, shaking his head, his face dark as he followed after his friend. As Victor stepped into the aisle to wait in line, he checked his hair in the reflection on the cooler, careful fingers picking meticulously through the silver locks. He gave his reflection a smile and a wink, and then turned, ready to woo the man off his feet.

 _Hell no,_ Yuri thought to himself. _I won't deal with this bullshit today._

And so he made a solemn promise to himself to stop Victor's madness before it could even begin. As Victor began to unload groceries onto the black conveyor belt— making sure to bend over _just right_ so his ass was visible; the man's face began to darken —Yuri stepped around the cart, plastering a mean look onto his face.

The man hesitated upon seeing Yuri, but, to his credit, he regained his composure quickly and offered them both a kind smile. "Hello," he said, "how are you today?"

Victor opened his mouth to speak, but Yuri cut him off quickly. "We're fine," he said, not even bothering to keep his annoyance from leaking into his tone. Victor blinked, confused, and then:

"No, but—"

"—just want to go home."

"But I—"

"—I'm in a hurry, so we should finish this up.

"Yuri, sto—"

"Thanks."

Victor was losing steam, to Yuri's great delight. His face red and his eyes narrowed his confusion behind his dumb-looking glasses, the man looked from Victor to Yuri, the former flabbergasted and the latter smug, smirking. He made no further attempt to talk. Yuri felt as though he had won, as though he was finally safe, but then:

"Ah, so your name is Yuuri? What a coincidence!" Victor leaned over the counter, towards the man, sliding in front of Yuri so he couldn't interrupt. Yuri's eyes narrowed angrily. His name was Yuuri too? That was _bullshit!_

"My friend here is named Yuri as well."

Yuri rolled his eyes, glaring at the Other Yuuri. "We don't have room for two Yuris, Victor," he spat. "Let's go."

Other Yuuri looked taken aback at Yuri's comment, but Victor only chucked, digging in his pocket. He pulled out his wallet and offered Other Yuuri his credit card and his stupidly charming smile.

Other Yuuri smiled back, his cheeks going pink. Yuri grumbled, sending a glare Victors way. He smiled calmly in response, and the smug look in his eyes—as though he were taunting Yuri, as though he were saying, "I've won, and you've lost,"—made Yuri want to strangle him.

Finally, Yuuri handed them a receipt, and bid them on their way, and that should have been the end of it.

 _That should have been the end of it._

But this was Victor, and with Victor, there never was an "end of it." With Victor, there never was a point of giving up on what he wanted, no matter what the others around him might think, even if "the others around him," consisted solely of a murderous fifteen-year-old who only wanted to go home and didn't want to be a part of his stupid, dumb, bullshit flirting.

First, Victor pushed the rattling cart out to his car, and unloaded the crinkling plastic bags into the trunk but didn't unlock the doors, leaving Yuri to tug desperately on the handles in vain. Then, he started back towards the store, and Yuri was left with a choice: follow Victor back inside and be forced to watch him flirt, or stay outside and freeze in the harsh winter wind.

It was the hardest choice of his life.

He followed Victor back inside the store. Victor had set up camp against the wall, between a vending machine and a Redbox, where he had a perfect view of Other Yuuri and the perfect chance to flirt him into oblivion. Yuri sat down and pulled out his phone, wishing that Victor could just get on with it, that his chance would finally come so Yuri could finally go.

They sat for what seemed like hours, simply watching the poor man. He didn't even notice that they were there. In fact, it seemed he had forgotten all about their encounter, and that was definitely for the best. Yuri considered pointing this out to his hopeless friend, but Victor got to his feet before he could, a smile on his face, his eyes twinkling with new inspiration.

Other Yuuri had stepped out of his little register area, and was untying the apron around his torso. He walked into a room labeled "employees only," and came out in regular clothes. His shift was done, and Victor's time had come. As Other Yuuri walked towards the doors to leave, Victor started towards him.

"Excuse me!" he called, and Other Yuuri stopped and turned.

"Can I help you?" Slight remembrance flashed in Other Yuuri's eyes, but if he recognized Victor among the hundreds of other faces he'd seen that day, he didn't show it. Really, it didn't matter. Yuri had ruined their first meeting; the second would have to be perfect.

Victor suddenly looked bashful, a slight color coming to his cheeks, and Yuri rolled his eyes. It was all an act, obviously—Victor hardly ever got bashful, and even when he did, he was usually drunk off his ass—but Other Yuuri didn't know that. He was playing right into Victor's loving embrace. It was disgusting.

"Well..." He scratched the back of his head shyly. "I... I've spotted my ex-boyfriend. Could I... Hold your hand? Until he leaves, I mean."

"That's the ploy you're using?" Yuri almost burst out laughing, feeling halfway as though he could vomit and halfway as though he should be taping this insanity.

Other Yuuri's face went bright red. "W-What?"

"Sorry," Victor said. "I just don't want him to see me single, you know? Please, just to keep him off my back."

And Other Yuuri couldn't help but assist this handsome, silver-haired stranger. With a shaky nod, he held out his hand, and Victor took it without a moments hesitation. Both were red-faced now, and Yuri could see Victor struggling to not smile.

"He's tricking you, dumbass," Yuri whispered, shaking his head at the man's gullibility. "His ex isn't here. Don't believe him!"

As though he had heard Yuri's quiet whispers, Victor turned, sending Yuri a hard stare. The message was clear: "Don't mess this up." Yuri, who had grown very comfortable between the vending machine and the Redbox, wouldn't dream of it.

The two began to walk. As they walked, they talked. And as they talked, they began to get more comfortable around each other, until neither could tell whether they even wanted to let go once Victor's "ex" left. Yuri could see them, talking about nothing at all important, and felt physically ill at their lovey-dovey-ness. _Come on,_ he thought with a sneer. _If you get any closer, you'll look like a married couple._

Minutes passed. Yuri watched their journey across the grocery store with great disdain, as he began to wonder how hard it would be to hotwire Victor's car and drive home himself. Other Yuuri still hadn't noticed that he was being tricked. No, his face was light with a genuine smile, their fingers curled around each other like they were always meant to be that way, his voice excited as he talked about something dumb, and Victor looked at him as though he were his sun, his moon, and every single star, enraptured by Other Yuuri's every word.

And still more minutes passed. Yuri was beginning to get quite bored. Would it really be that bad if he walked up to the couple and told Other Yuuri the truth? Or even if he just dragged Victor away? Yuuri still had no idea he was being tricked—or, if he did, he didn't even care. He just kept talking, talking, talking, and the two kept walking, walking, walking, and Yuri was considering killing, killing, killing.

And finally, _finally,_ just as Yuri was beginning to wonder if they sold knives at this store, Other Yuuri took a look around and finally realized: there was no ex-boyfriend, and there never had been. He'd been tricked.

Victor's voice trailed off, his sentence coming to a halt, as Yuuri leveled him with a disbelieving stare. A smile grew on his pale face, and he laughed, a loud, cheerful sound. Brushing strands of silver hair out of his face, he shrugged.

"What?! That—! You—" Yuuri struggled to speak, his eyes wide, shocked. Smirking, Yuri got to his feet and shoved his phone in his pocket and his hands in his pockets, starting towards the two. Yuuri's face had gone redder than ever, and Victor placed a hand on his shoulder to console him.

"You know," Victor said, making Yuuri look up at him, "I did actually need something from you, though. After all, I lost my phone number..."

Yuri stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes going wide, his face going pale, a tremor going down his spine. No. He wasn't. He couldn't be! No!

Victor's face lit up with a smile, and the corners of Yuuri's mouth began to turn upwards as he realized what was happening. The two still hadn't stopped holding hands.

Yuri smacked his forehead. He _was_.

"Can I have yours?"


End file.
